What a wonderful morning.
On the outside, really, it’s a lot like any other morning. Raining, especially this week, dark.
But, on the inside…WOW! I feel pretty darn good.
I’m not sure how it happened. Of course, when these flashes (I like to call them that) happen, it’s always unbidden but usually borne out of a sense of being lost, confused and struggling with something inside of myself. Then *AHA* I have this flash of insight, this new perception. And, that’s what happened today.
I had just stopped for a coffee. I sometimes do this on the way home, if I feel like staying awake for a few more hours, and I was thinking about grief. My grief, and grief in general. I was wondering if I had dealt with my grief and if I had, why wasn’t I feeling better? When would the breakthrough come? When would I feel like myself again? Then it hit me: the idea that the expression of grief isn’t what cures it. It’s the expression of love that cures grief. It is the realization, the KNOWing that love is right there, right alongside sorrow. A simple shift in perception, a tilt of the head, is all that’s required to see it, to feel it. And all of a sudden, the world was a very different place. It was just waking up, snuggled under the covers of darkness but yawning and stretching, blinking it’s eyes and smiling. And in this different world, everything softened, parents woke up and hugged each other and, speaking softly and walking quietly, woke their children and hugged them too. The noise of life became muffled somehow, like when you wrap a scarf around your shoulders and it absorbs the shocks of life.
The traffic heading north over the Patullo Bridge was light this morning and I had this crazy notion that the world, and everything in it, was in love with itself and it felt so soft, warm and light. So light, in fact that I felt loosened. My body became loosened at the joints, the way I know now that a marionette would feel, if in fact it could feel.
Someone once told me that unexpressed grief gets stuck in the throat and so it is best to cry, out loud, when we are in pain. And wouldn’t you know it…I sang.